Suzy>you. (washmymind) wrote,

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Suck satan's love spear

I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs or us. and I wonder how smart they were when they were 15. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering... who's had their hearts broken that day. And how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heartbreaking. And wondering why.

I don't know why it bothers me so much when people put "and" instead of "an"

Anyways, I like this.
ever feel that way when the presence of or just conversation with a single person can make you feel so special? i have and i do. its where the actions or words of a single person can either make you feel like youre on top of the world or you are a piece of shit. its amazing. its the feeling where just the thought of it makes you smile and makes you, for some stupid reason, make journal entries about it. its new to me and i have no idea how to deal with it. ive had relations i have loved, but i have never felt quite this way. you know its different when that special person makes you feel like shit for whatever reason but it doesnt change the way you feel one bit. it doesnt seem like anything could change it. it makes you, like in this case particularly, not give a damn that the chances are you have no chance at all. rejection may be a pretty sure bet but that doesnt matter. if youve ever felt this way you know how it is. its weird how i have so much to say yet cant find the words to express it. you think well logically i should just go for it and if it doesnt work out then oh well. but thats logic, this feeling is all too different. its overwhelming to the point that you are rendered helpless and unable, or possibly unwilling, to do anything about it. maybe because like they say, the chase is half the fun. or something stupid like that. because you dont ever want this feeling to stray from you for you fear what will ensue. you feel like it cant get any better than this so why ruin it with my actions?

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