You are not better than me. It's damaging but not threatening
It's damaging but not threatening [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | DEADJOURNAL ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(18 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

ATTENTION ALL FUCKFACES!::: [02 Sep 2004|10:59pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

1. QUIT PISSING ME OFF!!Collapse )

(19 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

OMG PITCHA POST! [07 Jul 2004|03:10am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Its time to make one of those ridiculous posts. You know, the post that consists of nothing but pictures of yourself, high contrast of course, and doing stupid side views and whatnot.

!&*(&@)(_)$()*#+_+_@()_((#$&*^#$@!!!1Collapse )

(11 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

de rigueur [20 Jun 2004|05:29pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

What good is it to be in a room full of no variety. Speak up. Do not conform. Quit acting as if you don't care. Don't judge me so harsh little girl. Show your true feelings. Don't be ashamed. I'm sick of seeing you almost say what is really on your mind but to quickly cover your mouth with your hand, As if saying what you think will shun you. Friends should not have set rules for others to abide by. I don't know but... I really hate, no not hate, loathe the fact that you haven't gotten out of my life yet. Seeing something and then having that specific thing remind me of you and then asking myself what happened? and the fact that I cannot answer my own question kills me. What did happen and how did I change. Because regardless of what you think, I'm still the same Suzy I have always been. Most of this isn't to one person, in case you care. Feel free to tell me what is on your mind, I really do care no matter how much I act as if I don't. I'm not good with showing emotion towards the things I dote on. Except the undieing love I have for Leighton.

(9 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Im bored as fuck, [28 May 2004|01:48am]
[ mood | bored ]

You're alllllll I neeeeed to get byyyyy.

Last chance to be added, or just say "hello"
If you keep it real with me I keep it real with you.

(18 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Eat shit, you deserve it. [16 Mar 2004|12:42pm]
[ mood | bored ]

A new state of mind is long overdue, it's time I inhaled with a new set of lungs. I don't know why I am making this friends only BUT I do know that if you for some reason want to read this horrendous thing then comment and I will add you.

These days, I can't be asked to worry about where the personas have gone...Whether or not they've ever made sense or to care what they were originally based on. And all of my good sense has fallen through cracks and left its mark in other places far deeper than I could ever imagine.
No one here gets out alive. 420 to fill it up.

(Tell me what it's like to be me.)

When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves. [08 Mar 2004|11:05pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?

sleep darling.

(4 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[08 Mar 2004|10:12am]
Anyone want to go take pictures with me today?
If you don't want to drive me around then I will drive... I don't care.
I just really want someone to go with me cause taking pictures alone sometimes doesn't put you in the greatest mood. but I really just have to get this done.

(8 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I will destroy you. [04 Mar 2004|02:02pm]
[ mood | tough ]

My life is full of brutal battles.

Photobucket can suck a fucking cock. I am GOD.


(14 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[02 Mar 2004|08:34pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Everyone's got their little boyfriends.
and I want a friend but I can't even have that.

(10 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I know I am. Looking for corpses. [01 Mar 2004|09:30pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Beyond Borders. Damn. Did I just say yam?
Whats the line again?

Am I the only person that gets viagra emails? what about "free vicodin" or "hot sexy sluts waiting 4u2 cum" ew.
I am now getting paid on Mondays DOUBLE every week. Yes ladies and gentlemen... Suzy is not po no mo. WORD. Be jealous. My work is OH SO HARD. tahaha.

Tonight was sad. Made me think a lot. Cute people shouldn't have to cry. I don't ever wanna see you two cry again. I love you both.

My nails are getting long and I need to cut them cause I don't like the clicking noise they make when I type. I want you to talk back to me. I want you to stop being stupid and maybe notice...things. haha your SN is always highlighted yellow on my buddy list. I don't know why. Actually I do. But I don't know why I do it.

jayslashkate: I'm out
goddamnit Suz y: haha later [sexy]
jayslashkate: don't call me that spic
jayslashkate signed off at 9:35:36 PM.
I'm Bulgarian you stupid slut.
"You gon' die honkey."

Go look at my deadjournal and be JEALOUS times 2. It's better than any of your guys' backgrounds. word. and there's no ring there's no ring on the phone anymore. there's no reason to call I've passed out on the floor. Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry. booooooo to alk3

YES! take 26: NAILED IT.

someone get me an invisibility cloak

(9 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

woah. [29 Feb 2004|10:13pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I haven't posted pictures in a while because my digital camera broke a long time ago and my dad won't get it fixed for me cause he is an asshole. but anyways. I went through my computer and found lots of interesting pictures that I would like to share.

reality check.Collapse )
I took a bubble bath today and it was cool. I was also pleased to find out that I had no homework and James did. oh oh one more thing... I get my permit in 6 days. :-) I'ma be a big balllllla.

(2 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

fuck [29 Feb 2004|10:37am]
[ mood | sad ]

Oh man this weekend has been awesome, let me tell you.

friday I got home at around 9 and fell asleep at 9:30. woo hoo I fucking had a blast.
saturday I got home at around 8:30 and fell asleep at 9. Man i sure tore that shit up.

I had the worst fucking dream I have ever had in my life last night and it lasted so long I think I was about to kill myself. Thank god I woke up and checked on Rocky and everything was better.

Today is sunday and I feel like I'm in Jr. High again. Actually, in Jr. High I was allowed spending the night at people's houses.

(12 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

cough cough vomit. [25 Feb 2004|12:05pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I'm really sick and I don't think it's just the normal sick blah blah. I have been for the past week and I have thrown up everyday for the past 4 days. It's pretty gross. I don't sleep enough. Haha oh well. I love being sick. come on guys.

Last night I went to Mill and my dad made me take off my lesbian bracelette in the car. He wouldn't even let me cut it off. He had to do it for me with a knife WHILE HE WAS DRIVING. and I was getting all scared cause he looked like he was going to slit my wrist. I'm surprised he didn't purposely swirve so he had an excuse as to why I died. Anyways.
I did an experiment yesterday with my phone for myself and the results were 2.
Mr. G just said "your next project is KICK ASS images"
and ugly said "what kind of pictures do we have to take?" and he said "KICK ASS" I found some humour in it. Shut up.

I came on here to say something important but I forgot what it was and ended up with all of that up there ^.

oh one more thing. if you ever talk to me and you mean "no". don't make up some excuse or some huge story instead of answering me the real thing. I'm not afraid of being shut down or anything. I'd just rather get to the point instead of listening to your bullshit. (This isn't for anyone in particular, in case you were wondering, it's just to anyone)

I wonder if this post will be the cause of someone yelling at me. All of you have it oh so bad.

(10 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Suck satan's love spear [23 Feb 2004|02:03pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs or us. and I wonder how smart they were when they were 15. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering... who's had their hearts broken that day. And how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heartbreaking. And wondering why.

I don't know why it bothers me so much when people put "and" instead of "an"

Anyways, I like this.
ever feel that way when the presence of or just conversation with a single person can make you feel so special? i have and i do. its where the actions or words of a single person can either make you feel like youre on top of the world or you are a piece of shit. its amazing. its the feeling where just the thought of it makes you smile and makes you, for some stupid reason, make journal entries about it. its new to me and i have no idea how to deal with it. ive had relations i have loved, but i have never felt quite this way. you know its different when that special person makes you feel like shit for whatever reason but it doesnt change the way you feel one bit. it doesnt seem like anything could change it. it makes you, like in this case particularly, not give a damn that the chances are you have no chance at all. rejection may be a pretty sure bet but that doesnt matter. if youve ever felt this way you know how it is. its weird how i have so much to say yet cant find the words to express it. you think well logically i should just go for it and if it doesnt work out then oh well. but thats logic, this feeling is all too different. its overwhelming to the point that you are rendered helpless and unable, or possibly unwilling, to do anything about it. maybe because like they say, the chase is half the fun. or something stupid like that. because you dont ever want this feeling to stray from you for you fear what will ensue. you feel like it cant get any better than this so why ruin it with my actions?


(6 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Weird. [22 Feb 2004|08:03pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I didn't go to sleep til 5 in thr morning on saturday and I JUST woke up. It is about 8:00. The only reason I am awake though is because my brother came in my room to use the computer, I would prbably still be sleeping and sleep all the way until tomorrow. My mom is being nice and making me macaroni and cheese. Be jealous, bitches :)

I was on my brothers sn for some reason and some little girl started talking to me and I told her that it was me and she said this.
VolcoMGirleY98: don't tell him. he doesn't like me very much because i'm a 5th grader.
Prisoncell21: Why would he not like you? just because you are a 5th grader?
Prisoncell21: Is he mean or something?
VolcoMGirleY98: no he's not mean,but he is how you say WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY cooler than me.
Prisoncell21: that is weird.
VolcoMGirleY98: like WAY!!
VolcoMGirleY98: i would like die to go out with your brother i mean like DIE.
Prisoncell21: that is really weird
VolcoMGirleY98: Y
Prisoncell21: because I didn't know my brother was popular

LIKE LIKE LIKE OMG OMG OMG. That is so fucking weird to me though. My brother is the biggest dork at home but at school he is some GOD. He kicked a kid in the face on Tuesday and the kid didn't tell because he is scared of him. hah.

Anyways. My nose is still fucking plugged and it is pissing me off. I don't know if I'll be able to eat.

just because you can't feel your teeth doesn't mean the girl can't feel your insults.

(1 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[19 Feb 2004|11:11pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Aww my favorite little graduate from the How To Be A Tough Guy Academy turned 18 today. weeee. Go buy me porn, NOW. I have your presents waiting for you when you come back from Las Vegas.


Today I ditched 6th and 7th hour and well I think I got caught and am getting a refferal tomorrow or something. haha whatever. Bitches. Just goes to show that my school life is slowly going to shit. My grades this year are all B's and I am so dissapointed in my self. I have had a 4.0 my whole life. kasdfjlf oh well smile Suzy :)

Went to eat with Krystal and Amber.

Went shopping with Ernie. Tried to pick up my medicine but it cost $77 dollars. and I only had 50.  bitches. Anyways. later I had Erin drop me off cause I was getting really sick and I knew I was going to throw up. and I sure enough did. sick. My medicine is so weird. Makes me throw up when I first start taking it and then makes me throw up when I stop taking it for 3 days. I don't know why I am telling you guys all of this. I am bored. People are talking to me on AIM at the moment. but for some reason I don't want to click open the box and see that it isn't you.

(9 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Shut up. [16 Feb 2004|09:07pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I'm updating but not by choice.
(monika said: Update. now.
goddamnit Suz y: me?
monika said: yes you
monika said: update. im demanding it.
goddamnit Suz y: okay)

See. Well this weekend was shit. Valentine's day WAS FUCKING AWESOME cause Erin was the best god damn Valentine ever. Steve Carpenter got me a rose cause he felt sorry for me hahaha he says thats not the reason but I know it is. So that made me feel special.
CodeeBreeze (7:45:24 PM): what up suzy
CodeeBreeze (7:45:29 PM): dude i have to tell you
goddamnit Suz y (7:45:34 PM): what
CodeeBreeze (7:45:38 PM): you were the greatest valentine i have ever had
Sunday night at Genessa's was a good time. Spent the night at Johnna's and slept all day while she was at work at her house alone. Kinda weird but oh well. She came home and Kenna called and we all went out and drove to what seemed like Tucson but out by Bank One Ball Park or whatever. Then to Mill. Wow.
Reading the conversations we used to have makes me sad.

I just yelled at my brother and now I feel bad. Eh oh well. I'm not backing down cause I'm a stubborn bitch.
I have to go write an Ode To Photography now.

"suzy kills innocent little bistandards on the side of alma school and southern while eating tuna tacos on a saturday evening" I like it.

okaybrittni: because i remember i was embarrassed when your mom was paying for the cinibons because they were like SO LOUD
okaybrittni: haha
goddamnit Suz y: haha po po mommy.
goddamnit Suz y: I miss her
goddamnit Suz y: :-(
okaybrittni: i miss her too
okaybrittni: remember when i brought her taco bell when she was sick?
okaybrittni: and when we saw her at taco bell in the drive through so we scared her and then she ate with us for nearly 2 hours
goddamnit Suz y: hahaha yeah
goddamnit Suz y: and she just sat there and talked
okaybrittni: shes cute
goddamnit Suz y: yeah she is
I miss my mommy.

(3 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I know. [15 Feb 2004|12:32pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

it's what you see on tv. the girl is so extremely mad but she is only mad because she is sad and she is only sad because she is frustrated and she is frustrated because she didn't get her way. she starts to walk away but he runs after her because he cares (oh please)and she hits him because she is still pissed/sad and then he takes it. they start kissing and everything is solved and you the viewer are left thinking that they truly do love eachother. But as the viewer you start thinking "oh that's cute" "she is lucky" "they are good for eachother" but only because it is so fucking impossible for anyone to actually be like that.
I have no clue what the fuck I am trying to say. I actually do know but don't know how to say it in a journal. I hate 11:11. Stop saying that you don't fucking know because you do. No one is that mindless.

You spend half your life trying to prove that you're unique and immune from normal human fallibility, then before you know it you're in some room far away from home with a bunch of strangers snorting lines off some filthy toilet seat that you've 'cleaned' with a flimsy piece of tissue paper. It's times like this I find myself staring at my reflection in a mirror thinking, “who the fuck are you?” and realising that I'm actually just like everybody else and that I'm the sucker.

but aside from all that. Next time I see 'you' I am going to laugh in your fucking face because you are an idiot HAHAHAAA. done and done.

(4 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

VALENTINE'S DAY FUCKING SUCKS. [13 Feb 2004|02:09pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Haha I got an anonymous box of those candy hearts with a heart shaped card in my 7th hour and I picked out a random heart and put it in Trey's hand and it said "LET'S READ" and I laughed for so long. What the hell does that have to do with Valentine's day?

I got denied by 3 people today but Codee Breeze said he wuold be my Valentine so I am pretty excited about that.

(5 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I wish I wasn't optional [09 Feb 2004|10:15am]
I am in the backroom sitting in the corner with a computer monitor 2 inches away from my face. Exciting isn't it? I am sitting on a chair that has some sort of barbed wire all around it and it is really umcomfortable. I don't know how a chair reminds you of a person but this chair, in fact, reminds me of Marilyn Manson. I don't have good posture so I am slouching(sp?) and it hurts my lower back. Oh well. There is an empty bag of chips in the other corner that was left the®e 2 months ago, by me, and is still there. Someone should probably clean up back here but no one pays attention. I don't know how that R with the circle around it got in the place of the other R but I think I will leave it alone. And if you can't see it or know what I am talking about then I suggest you shut the fuck up and keep cleaning the filters.
I got my tetANUS shot and now my left arm is all limp dick style. ps. I am hilarious.
Oh yeah and Suzy... don't forget:
Gilbert Schools #41

Tanks and guns d00d!

I wish I had a friend named Enfuego. ENFUEGO SIT DOWN. ENFUEGO GO GET ME WATER. ENFUEGO LEAVE THE DEAD DOG ALONE. (my god you are beautiful.) There's a little JTHM humor for the few of you that read comics. hahhhhhh hilarious.

I messed up the pizza order. idiot Suzy IDIOT.

I need to go write Jed his e-mail now and I better hop to it cause he has been lifting weights lately and I wouldn't want to get my ass beat. pffft, actually. I'd love to see him try.

[I can't click click here because this is a mac and if I do click it then it will erase my whole entry like it did last time. And like how Erin's computer does that too sometimes. Great story eh?

Fuck, I'm an idiot.

(21 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I am going to the frog. [05 Feb 2004|05:53pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

So put on a happy face. Let's make this pleasant.

I am chewing ice and that means that I want to dance.
Did you know that chewing your food means you are sexually frustrated? hahaha funny people and there funny little saying things. Yes I know it is originally if you chew ice you are sexually frustrated.

Pelvis THRUST.

I asked a few people what their favorite words are and here goes:


Tell me what your's is please?

(10 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I just cracked my neck and it felt damn good. Better than sex. [04 Feb 2004|08:23am]
[ mood | giddy ]

Last night I went to bed at 7:30 cause the day had been dragging on for too long. I have been sleeping a lot lately.
This morning I woke up and got ready and whatnot and then I walked into my mothers room. The school had called and said not to let me come to school today because I haven't gotten my shots and I can't come to school unless I have my shots. Hah I'm some sort of diseased individual and I don't even know it. Hell yeah brawww come over *cough cough*
I get to go to work today with my mother and check out my dream car. I found one on e-bay for 25,000. THATS IT! AHHHHHH YES. I wanted to buy it sooooo bad but I wouldn't trust e-bay with a car. Anyways, I have a major headache. and my phone was left in my fathers room cause he is still mad at me.

Hope all you fuckers have fun at schoool cause apparently I'm TOO COOL. Oh and Alex Bank-Rollins call me the second you get this. It's important. Love, Suzy.
ACTUALLY, all of you call me the second you read this. hip hip.

(6 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I want to wear a dress and look good in it. [02 Feb 2004|10:33am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

BROWN'S MORE CHOCOLATE AND SEPIA IS MORE YELLOW. stupid fucking people. God. I fucking hate everyone at school.
No, I don't. I like a few.
My stomach hurts. bah humbug. Okay so I'm not in the greatest mood today
I got a new cell phone. Why? I don't know. but I haven't seen my mothers husband in a while so he hasn't had the chance to take it away.
Someone steal my cell phone. It will be funny I swear.

I like how people complain about getting what I want. They complain cause they don't like it and they have it. But it makes me mad because the thing they don't want is what I have wanted for a long time. Don't complain because it makes me sad. Does that make sense? I know it does to me. Wait no it doesn't. I want from you what you don't want yourself to have.

Codee Breeze is in my first hour. Weird. My lower back hurts. I think I am pregnant. Oh I'm hilarious.
I don't have to take pictures of myself anymore. I am taking pictures of Cookie, Rocky and Roxy instead. I want the medium-format camera but I don't think I can use it because there is a douchebag in this class that is already using it. Anyone wanna let me take pictures of them? Mr. G just said "this is very sexy film" HELL YEAH. Mr. G is listening to Pink Floyd and now I feel stoned. LOL JK. lOLOOLOOOLOLOLOLLOLOOlolololololoolllollol
Monday used to be family night.

he he HE
This update took all of 3rd hour. lame.

(Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[31 Jan 2004|11:50am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

The entire world will see this photograph!! Just you fucking wait.

Die.Collapse )

(14 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

fuck you. [26 Jan 2004|02:26pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Its the original update from school. This bra is very uncomfortable. I love not having biology anymore and being an AIDE. I get to sit on e-bay ALL HOUR. be jealous, fuckers. Hey Danielle, my tongue is bleeding AGAIN. I thought I'd tell you cause it always does and you are the one that notices it and stuff. Okay I am done. I kinda have to pee but I don't want to walk down both those scary hallways. Plus that creepy sweeper dude is in the hall and he is tall and scary and walks on stilts sometimes. A kid that I haven't seen since Jr. High is in this class and it is really really AWKWARD no joke. I forgot his last name but he went to Desert Ridge and came back this semester to try Highland out. Kyle.... I'm trying to think of his last name.

I need to take pictures for photo but they are all portraits and I don't want to take pictures of myself. That is kinda weird. BUT WHATEVER. Anyone wanna help? Be creative people. COME ON.

Wow, someone just called me so I went in the hall to pick it up. I'm so cool. HELL YEAH. oh oh oh I just got a text message. WHOAAAAA. Okay I am bored. bye.

(10 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

La dia de los muertos. [24 Jan 2004|11:59pm]
[ mood | ...fine. ]

something about seeing a familiar dog in the middle of the street laying in its own blood shakes me up a bit. I see it everyday thinking "god, that dog is going to get hit" but it didn't really occur to me what would happen if it really did get hit. I mean... I never really thought it would happen even though I said it. Eh you are probably thinking who cares? but really, it was a nice dog that I saw EVERYDAY. Even if he did just run around the neighborhood.

Anyways, I cut my own hair today. I must say that I look even more like a boy now. Oh well, no one to impress, eh? Right.

We sat at Steve's and watched Once Upon A Time In Mexico. I got really hyper for some weird reason and would not shut up or stop laughing at nothingness. Then I got sd because my mom called to talk to me about the dog that I mentioned at the beginning of this stupid post. She asked if we were the ones who hit it. I got around 280 dollars worth of tongue rings for free today. (tongue rings are around 20 dollars except at Name Brand Exchange) Nicole is beyond awesome.

Ack, bummer. I had something important to say but I forgot.
|insert important sentence or two here|

I just got a text message that says "Let's kiss" weird. Some people really surprise me with their stupidness.

I dropped Biology because my teacher was a complete bitch. so I'm just going to take both summer schools this summer. Oh well. At least I'm not stressed out about nothing now. and I get to Aide for Mr. G. and shop on e-bay all 7th hour. It's like not having a 7th hour and being a COOL senior and leaving early. ..okay so maybe not, but hey, fuck you.

moyta mamo eeskam me te obadish kushta. In Bulgarian of course because I don't have guts.

I find the negative in everything without even trying to. It gets pretty annoying sometimes and I don't like it. I like big butts and I cannot lie.

"No one cracks a joke to impress themselves, they do it to impress others."

Happy late birthday Niko. I miss hanging out with you.

This is the song that never ends. and it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends...

(9 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

How sad. [21 Jan 2004|12:11am]
[ mood | blah ]

I liked tonight when my hand got frozen from outside the window and then I slowly felt it go back to the normal temperature.

Crest Whitestrips make my teeth hurt and my new toothpaste OWNS.

I quit. I give up. You won. bye.

I am tired but I don't want to go to sleep cause then I will have to wake up to the fact that I have to go to school.

STOP RIGHT THERE. What are you doing you crazy bitch?

The entire world will see this photograph.

(15 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

The lost and found is to the left. [19 Jan 2004|03:24pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

It's impossible to say how you feel without getting made fun of. It's completely hopeless and stupid. and I think today is going to suck. So if any of you people want to hang out with me... eh just kidding.
Last night was confusing. I don't know where my eyes went. I should probably find them soon though cause my mom will be mad at me. I think I like green better anyways.

I've been really tired lately and it is annoying me. I like the way my jacket smells right now. Oops. I just accidentally blocked you haaaaaaa.
My dad has been extremely mean to me lately and I don't know half of the reasons why. It's so weird and I don't like it. I want a normal dad.

stryderkyle10: yeah i know i dont think i could either
stryderkyle10: but it would be fun to do (I have absolutely no clue what he is talking about or what that means. aaaaaaahhhhhhhh help me)

Amber just shoved beezwax in my face in the shape of a penis. Sick.
I don't like how I shake so much. at first it was alright and didn't bother me but now it is really fucking pissing me off. this is my grr face.

"Come home so you can find my keys, oh and while you're fucking at it CHANGE YOUR GOD DAMN MESSAGE MACHINE" "whoa whoa whoa, I thought this was my phone..." "who pays for it?" shit.. haha you got me there.

Let's go on a killing rampage and make the news worth watching.

(12 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[17 Jan 2004|12:54am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Today was pretty eventful.
On the way home from school Kyle called and told me that he was coming over. So he did and I dyed his hair. My fingers are black because I took the glove off for a while and it looks disgusting. We then went to Krystals for a while and then went to Anne's SURPRISE Birthday pooty. Yeah thats right, bitches. Kyle made me wear a skirt so I did and then after about 2 hours I changed into pants but forgot NORMAL shoes so had to go all day and night with high heels on. NOT FUN. Then went to see Lydia.
[Edit]Okay, I did have something mean written here about the people at the show but I decided to not be a bitch for once, keep it to myself, and edit it out[/edit] NO JOKE. Word. Whatever.
Thennnnnnnnnn Del Taco. Johnna's Del Taco to meet up then Krystals.
I am here now and Steve McGraw, Erin, Johnna, Steve's sister (I don't know her name...) and Krystal are in the other room watching a stupid movie that I don't like. Although Jason's text messages are amusing me tonight.

My tongue is bleeding and my ear hurts.=.when I touch it.

(2 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Like whoa. [15 Jan 2004|10:55pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I just took a shower and found 3 new bruises on my body. You guys better stop kicking my ass before I go all ghetto on you.
2 of them are visible and the other will be covered up because I never take my sweater off.

Enough about that.

Today Kyle picked me up from my house and we went to Steve's. and I'm not sure if it was yesterday or today but jason and Chastan came and then Leighton did. Or maybe that was yesterday? God. I don't know. The past 2 days seems like it was all one day. Then again not.
Gilbert Talent show. Maria, you did awesome. Then to Krystals. Home now.

Your picture keeps falling off my wall. Tell me if that means anything. I think you don't matter.
we are blur./

Tomorrow my legs will be invisible.

(5 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

: [14 Jan 2004|09:58pm]
Wow, tonight was eventful. Made me think a lot. Like whoa.
You got me lifted shifter higher than a ceiling and oooh wee its the ultimate feeling. You got me lifted feeling so gifted. Suga suga how'd you get so fly?

I'm not telling you friends anything anymore. <livejournal is a joke._-=+ I guess 2 for one is better than 1. haha/

(7 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Gotta keep it gangsta. [13 Jan 2004|07:27pm]
[ mood | stupid ]

You gotta dust... THAT.... DIRT OFF YOUR SHOULDER.

(7 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

He's ashamed cause I look like shit? [12 Jan 2004|07:08pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

Today was just another day. shitty as always. The highlight of it was when Andy and Justin came and picked me up from school.
I sat alone at Taco Bell for like 20 minutes.
My golfcart broke cause of some stupid ass mother fucker. Okay I'm not mad at him. I'm mad at the golfcart for letting itself break.
Then I got to sit at home and be yelled at all day. For some reason my dad gets mad about the stupidest fucking things. And I really wouldn't mind if his throat got slit. Actually I wouldn't mind doing it myself. I don't think anyone will ever know just how much hatred I have towards certain people.
Oh, it's family night and guess what I'm doing? Sitting in my room while everyone else is in the other room fucking themselves. Whats the point of me being home then?!?!?! THERE ISN'T ONE. ajsdlf;jasdfj;

I hate being home because it gives other people more time to yell at me.?
every one of these is to a different person.
I don't like how you only talk to me when you need something.
I don't like how you don't try to talk to me.
I don't like how I have to try so hard to talk to you.
I don't like how you make fun of me everyday.
I don't like how you don't joke around with me.
I don't like how you think I'm serious when I'm not.
I don't like telling you things.
I don't like how I try so hard with everyone.

I don't like myself at school.
I don't like anyone at school.
I don't like sitting at home alone so I call for help but only get denied.

Smile for the camera you piece of shit.

(13 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Buy more bullets. [10 Jan 2004|01:26pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

Fuck you,
If anyone in this shithole city gave two tugs of a dead dog's cock about Truth, this wouldn't be happening.

The best part of you dried up on your mommy's thigh.

My household appliance is on drugs... horrible. WAAAAAAAAAH.

(23 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

stryderkyle10: k well im gonna take a fatty shit so call my cell or somthing peace [07 Jan 2004|02:19pm]
[ mood | Like I said too much. ]

I didn't go to school today which is a big HELL YEAH to Suzy.
My mom didn't wake me up for some reason and I slept till 1 30. When I woke up I walked into the kitchen and my parents were fighting. My dad said GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM. and my mom said NO STAY HERE. So me (confused as hell) didn't know what to do. I sat in the middle of where my room is and the kitchen haha and my dad didn't think it was too funny and got real pissed and left. TAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA. enough of that.

I finally got caught up on all of my sleep. Which is good. Even though it was my choice to only get 7 hours of sleep in two days.
I like this picture on my wall. She is pretty and he is hot. So its cool. Plus this other girl is smoking a joint on my wall.

I was snooping around the kitchen and I found these dice things. They are the kinky ones from Spencers and they say "Lick my...." and then the other one can say breast or face or something. I asked who's they were and no one answered. So I took them to play with. Okay I lied, I just brought them into my room and set them on my stereo.

I guess all this stuff is more for me than you. But then again if it was entirely for me it would be a private post. You know what I mean?
I like the picture of me and Kathryn but the Steven Smith dude ruined it by joining in it. Plus the fact that I don't even know who the hell he is or who he WAS until Tricia told me.
I just got a text message cause I'm cool as hell.
I try way too hard.

I don't like it when people lie to me. Cause I don't usually get mad... but when I do its a big deal to me cause I know I don't let myself get TOO mad.

I remember.Collapse )

God, does this even sound like me?

(4 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Pray for the courage. [05 Jan 2004|08:57pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

People are getting way to difficult to handle. I can't take any more of you or myself. My mom is crying because she doesn't think it is wrong to say mean things about my face.

I haven't slept in a long time and I have homework already. I need to take a shower too.

Kyle picked me up today after school and we went to walgreens but they fucked up our pictures so I have to get them TOMORROW. I've waited... TOO LONG. god damn.
Then we went to Steve's. Chastan and Jason came. Kyle left. Steve left. Jason and Chastan watched my favorite movie with me even though they didn't like it. Then we watched porn and had a threesome. Okay I lied. I'm bored. I don't want to look to my left...

(5 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[ mood | blah ]

So I'm sitting here... staying up all night before school. So that should be amusing tomorrow. Hopefully no one talks to me at school OH WAIT I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. Fuckers...
anyways Im bored and Monika and Blake are pussies and fell asleep. so Kate and I are going to slit their throats in the middle of Hawk Hall tomorrow morning. [EDIT] Oh my god. I can't believe Kate. I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU! and no its not ohkate. its not ohkate ALRIGHT! :0( I'm the only NON-PUSSY.[/EDIT]
I am boredCollapse )
Helpless isn't the right word but it's the first that comes to mind. There's worse things than being unknown, I think in time I'll get by.

(16 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

LJ Survey says? [04 Jan 2004|05:07pm]
[ mood | bored ]

with the coolest username// poopfartsex

with the cutest username// i_cant_read
the most artistic user pics// hollywoodbang
last added// sexontheradio_

first added// call_me_alex

i could adopt as a sibling// __nevermore__ , i_will_kill

who seems to be on all my friends list// pritty_lush

who seems to update the most// _sexmeup_
how many of my LJ friends have i met in real life// almost all

LJ friends who i'd like to meet in real life// beautydied , faggotass , shes_so_vain , hello_junior ,

favourite community// sprinklebreath

LJ's i like reading the most// _sexmeup_ . i_will_kill . i_cant_read . mmly . chasecore . practicedhatred emericaneagle . never_use_me

LJ friends i know best// i_will_kill , __nevermore__emericaneagle  _sexmeup_

friends i wish posted more// blushwithme , chas170wilks , stryderkyle10  (hah), lets_dance , practicedhatred, emericaneagle . jawrockslin </span>

most creative/artistic// i_am_turbo
the most attractive// modelturndactor 
the cutest// avirtualprison

how often do i post on LJ? pretty much everyday

what's the longest i've gone without posting in my LJ? a week?

when did i sign up for an LJ account? april 14th. 2003


I got ready for nothingness today. it was good.

(3 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I like the little eye beside private entries. [04 Jan 2004|01:42am]
[ mood | blank ]

It's so cold in here, are you awake?

Last night I dreamt that I was you. I was dressed all in black with dark glasses and attitude.

(Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[03 Jan 2004|03:04pm]
[ mood | scared ]

I am done with life. Right?
tahahhhha....haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I embarrass myself. Sorry to anyone that was there last night.

(2 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

running erins. [02 Jan 2004|03:31pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Chase said I need to change my name to Douchemymind. I think I will.
I hate all those stupid internet hearts followed by the u's and y's and ur's. GOD. People.. learn how to fucking type. Does it take THAT much longer to add 2 letters?


(16 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Optional? My ass. [01 Jan 2004|11:48pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Oh my god.
Last night was perfect. Okay beyond perfect. Well, except for the nosebleed. That is all.

Today my mom called and told me to go home. I went home and we talked. I told her more things about me tonight than she has EVER known. She told me I have been a slut since I was 5 years old. And when I was 6 I had a crush on a kid named Kasey that was 9 years old. Kasey became my "boyfriend" if you will. and came over and we played everyday then one day he pushed me down a flight of stairs and I broke my arm. Taaaaaahaaaa boring story but HEY thats how it all happened.
I really love my mom. She is so... I don't know. I am done.

Thank you to everyone last night. I did all the calling, as usual, to show my love for people and it made me happy.

I don't know.. I like everyone now.

I never make new years resolutions and if I did I know for a fact I sure as hell wouldn't last.
But I guess my new years resolution could be to stop hating girls. Even though it is fun as hell.

If I turn into a cat... blame the cat infront of Steve's house.


(12 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I edited some of this entry [29 Dec 2003|11:52pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

Fuckface is back.
I doubt I missed anything special.

Airports are shit. Dodging terrorists left and right while often confusing them for your father is no good.
I got over my fear of flieing though. Landed in a hand stand and kicked the flight attendant in the face.

On our way home my brother was being a sick fuck and wouldn't quit farting. So my dad rolled down the window and made him stick his ass out of it on the freeway. I laughed at the stupid kid.

Elizabeth has the best bed in the world. I got shoes for 16 dollars and they are pretty SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET too. Boxing Day is BOMB taha. and Pick & Chews is worth the 7 dollars.

I like how it snowed and I made foot prints and took a picture of it. and how I could see my breath the whole time. and how their gas is 75.5 a liter. and how the green light flashes in their traffic lights. I like everything about there except the fact that... all my friends are here.
I like how my mom, sister, grandma and I sat and talked about how my grandma got high. And how the most famous drug dealer in B.C. that supposidely only grows for "MEDICAL REASONS" is Bulgarian and I have met him cause he used to work for my dad. He is in a magazine article its INSANE.

I can't hear out of my left ear because of the plane.

These pictures were taken by me with my moms CELL PHONE. cause she is all hitech and shittttt.

How come people in movies can hold their breath for so long? It doesn't make sense.

"Sometimes... you can cry until there is nothing wet in you. You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray, all you want, to whatever god you think will listen. And still, it makes no difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you and you know that if it ever did relent... it would not be because it cared."

So put on a happy face. Let's make this pleasant!

...P.s. I love Kate.

(15 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

Last night I was on a MISSION. Nothing could stop me. not even throw up. [23 Dec 2003|11:55am]
[ mood | pleased ]

Jamie Hennis and I planned it way back in 8th grade when we both had braces. It only took 2 years to follow through.

Last night was fun. Thank you for taking care of me Ernie.

MONiKA SAID: and you'd just randomly remind me that you were still on a mission MONiKA SAID: haha it was weird i'd just be sitting on the couch and you'd sit on my lap and whisper really loud that you were still on your mission MONiKA SAID: hahah i like drunken-suzy

..I couldn't figure out the peanut butter in the hair thing so I ended up cutting the gum out. whats wierd though is I didn't even fall asleep with gum in my mouth. I blame you.


I find you fun.



(5 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I won and yes I'm a zombie. [21 Dec 2003|03:49pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I leave for Canada on the 25th... figures.
I want someone to come with me.

She said Fucker is my favorite word!!!!!!!!!
and I said LIKE OMG OMG OMG MINE TOOOO!!!!!!!!!
and then I punched her in the fucking face.

Last night was fun. Slidding down stairs on a thing (Not sure what it is)
I don't sleep in the same spot for more than 4 hours. COME ON PEOPLE. Get with the times.

On the edge.

Steve Krystal Kyle and Dustin are trying to get me into the other room to watch The Gladiator so I can throw up. (there is a lot of blood)

chaloova moyta doopie

My journal is random as shit.

anddddddddd I'm done with you.

(3 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[20 Dec 2003|03:30pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Dear Die-ary,

There is nothing terribly wrong with feelings lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it.

Your fiend,

(2 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[20 Dec 2003|09:28am]
[ mood | bored ]

hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahah fucking idiot hahahahahahahahhahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ajskl;fj;alsdjfasdfasg


...add on to last entry...

I'm feeling good guys. I'm feelin good.

(6 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[17 Dec 2003|10:38pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

No, don't worry guys. I'm almost done.

(12 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

I need this throw up feeling to go away. [14 Dec 2003|04:47pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

Everything reminds me of people. and it makes me think... if anything reminds anyone of me. I don't know. It's weird. I think it's cause I remember stupid things people say to me or what they say they like.


I got a call from the U.S. Justice department on saturday that scared me. No good.. hah

I haven't gotten out of bed once today. its 5. I don't feel good. and no, I'm not sick. I don't know.

siren siren </font>

I don't like that rich text shit. It makes it easy for people to use Html that I forcefully had to memorize. But I guess everyone likes things handed to them on a platter.


All I want for xmas is a poster like the one hanging over steve carpenters bed. I love her and her eyes.



Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.

(3 shot in the face / Tell me what it's like to be me.)

[12 Dec 2003|03:23pm]
[ mood | throw-upy ]

Fuck you

...that is all.

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]